Stare-alore

I'm nearly there...

I'm 147 miles to Mysore. This is what I have been waiting for. I have such an amazing time relaxing in my villa in Pondicherry but for the past few days I have become a little bored to say the least. I have also been craving an English conversation. That's not to say that I'm home sick, just wanting some conversation and interaction with someone who doesn't see me as 'them', meaning foreigner, woman, white or beneath me. 

I decided to change my travel plans getting to AYM. I had intended getting the bus from Pondy to Chennai, staying overnight there, then taking my return flight to Bangalore and finally a private taxi to Mysore. 

Finances said 'NO!'

Although the plane ticket had already been bought, the additional monies involved in an overnight stay in Chennai and the ₹500 per extra kg (+10kg) in total would have been too much. Besides, being alone in a taxi with a man out here - not a good feeling in my tummy! I took the advice of my friend Navni, a beautiful girl working at Mantra, to take an A/C sleeper bus direct to Bangalore, where I could catch another one direct to Mysore. This was far more cost effective, amounting to just ₹1207.

I opted for the A/C as I'm noticing that comfort is becoming a priority of mine, especially when compared to Indian standards. I selected a bed on the upper bunk and gobbled up a couple of melatonin to ensure I slept through this horrific journey - Indian roads combined with constant honking and tentative breaks would keep even someone like me awake - 'You've always been a door-mouse Emma' I hear you say Susan. There was no question about it, it was definitely an A/C bus, so much so that the baltic blast of air never ceased and I woke up at least a dozen times trying to keep warm and reverting to my trusty Berghaus. 

With the1st leg over with, I arrived in Bangalore this morning, taking rest in a 'hotel' until my bus at 2:00pm. I wanted to grab a shower and lie down on a proper bed. Well...again, no hot water, constant power cuts and filthy. Hey Ho, I'm in India, roll with it. I went out for a walk and it's the same everywhere. I was the only white person, the only woman and gosh do I stand out! People cannot stop staring. It's starting to become really frustrating and if this happened at home I might get really upset. My every movements are monitored, I cannot walk into a side market without being followed down the aisles. They literally scan me up and down. When they notice that I can see them, they don't stop, they just continue staring. Now I’ve been to India before, I’ve even been to the remote island of Lombok, and I’ve never felt it to be as intense as this. Perhaps I'm just ultra-sensitive right now because I don't have the safety of the Italians or a group of fellow backpackers. Either way, I'm appreciating the cultural disparities between home and here.

I can now hear the stern words from my mother:

'Emma, it's rude to stare!' 

Book. Breath. Trust. Let Go & See What Happens

30/10/2015

MANTRA, Pillaiyar Koil Street,Puducherry,Puducherry,India

Ok...

I spent hours last night, actually until the early hours of this morning, replying to emails, posting pictures on social media, writing in my journal, and then after waking at 5:15am for yoga this morning I was exhausted. So, with the thought of Mysore looming next week, changes must be made. A blog is needed - a consolidation of my pictures, experiences, thoughts and feelings. And of course, my whereabouts to puts the minds at rest of my guardian angels.

In preparation for my 3 month exploration of South India, (2/3rds to be focused in Mysore, with the sole purpose of deepening my Ashtanga practice) I had read several blogs about where to stay, what do each, shala timings, KPJAYI etiquette etc. All of which I found hugely helpful. BUT by no means, do I now feel my stress has been alleviated or that I am prepared for Saraswathi.

There is a quote:

"We don't meet people by accident, they are meant to cross our path for a reason."

Person 1

After a traumatic experience of bullying by senior management at 'THE best' (TES winner) state maintained school in central London. I ascended onto a path of 3 years that has brought me to here. A 5 week trip of yoga in Bali and Lombok, consisting of Yoga Barn and Gilli Yoga got me aroused and my thirst to understand more about yoga started. Initially, I was concerned only by the physical aspect. As a then slender 26 year old gym bunny, I had become obsessed with the Instagram posts of body beautiful shapes.

Lesson - Miss S!^p$@^ had come into my life for a reason. Distraught at the time,however, I can now see that the actions of this woman pushed me down a path I had never considered.

Person 2

In February 2014 I met Mr Gray, yes, that is his real name! Meeting on a dating website, both of us our first encounters and totally not comfortable with the dating world going viral. I fell in love. Everything about him was magical :) But gradually getting to know him, I discovered his love affair with 'Ashtanga', this yoga where no one speaks. There is no sound other than than Darth Veder breath of the ashtangi's on their mats. To me this was not yoga, I couldn't understand how repetitive movements without teacher guidance could be anything close to yoga. Gosh, reading that out I cringe! How little I knew and how naive I sounded! Mr Gray knew I loved yoga and despite being quite rude and dismissive of Ashtanga he gave me the contact details of his friends at Yoga Rocks, Triopetra, Crete. There I would spend 20 days as a Karma Yoga and take part in Adam Keen's Ashtanga retreat. After my retreat I went on a 6 week road trip with my Italian Francesco's. I saw Mr Gray once more afterwards, then it just ended. I never knew why. I later found out that he's living in Bali.

Lesson - Mr Gray introduced me to the magical practice of 'Moving through meditation!!!

Conversations with Mr Gray, yogis on Adam's retreat and other teachers (authorized or not), I knew that KPJAYI was the Mecca of Ashtanga and somewhere I intended to go after I had eventually learnt and mastered the Primary Series and had years of practice behind me.

For the past 2 years I have had a semi regular practice. As a Primary School Teacher, Mysore was not possible during term time, so I made do with led classes during the evenings and weekends. I've also used the generous holidays of the profession to work as a Karma yoga at another wonderful Ashtanga retreat with Casa Caudrau . I also went to Paris over the Christmas & New Year Period 2014 to take part in a 5 day workshop with Ashtanga Yoga Paris. 

...So in summary, I may not be a qualified yoga teacher, or have a strong & regular practice but 

I want this experience. 

I want to concentrate fully on my yoga without the distractions of life in London. Life was not going how I had wanted in London. My naturopathy studies were cut short as work wouldn't be flexible with my hours. I was totally single with no love life in existence. Living in a shared house with bed bugs and mice!!!! And most importantly I had no motivation for carrying on. Since 15 years old, I have fought my way in this world (Warrior-ess to Min ;)), being fostered, suffering 2 year disability, setting myself up in London, putting myself through a PGCE and then being threatened with it being taken from me. I always felt the strength to push on. That ended when I lost an ex partner to depression. Something had to change. And I was the only one capable of making it change. Instead of planning a new route, a route deemed to be acceptable to others, I decided to do something completely different. I decided to rid myself of all ties I had to a life that was conformative to everyone else's expectations of a 30 year old woman, and let go. Giving my path a chance to form organically, led by MY pleasures and  MY wants. That was it yoga YTT in Mysore!!! But not just YTT, Lauren Munday (an authorized teacher at Down to Earth), encouraged me to register for a place with Saraswathi at KPJAYI. Hmmmmm..Really??? But I cant even bind in marichyasana! That night I read, I read a lot! A pivital blog to my decision was Corrie Ananda's blog entitled Too inexperienced for KPJAYI Mysore? I decided now is my time. I did it! I registered, hoping I would get a place. Then, happy 30th Emma :-) I woke up to an email entitled 'CONFIRMATION FOR SARASWATHI'S CLASS'. I handed in my notice on my flat, my resignation at work and awaited for my visa before booking a return flight with Air India. 

I will spend 10 days in Bangalore, Chennai and Pondicherry bofore going to Mysore, where I will complete a 200 hr Ashtanga YTT with Ashtanga Yoga Mysore, have 1 week off perhaps in Goa or Kerela, then finally onto studying with Saraswathi for 1 month at KPJAYI.

This blog will be an account of my time in Mysore. I want to remember this experience forever.

Namaste x